Toho vs H.P. Lovecraft! Two giant creatures of the deep, one prehistoric and another ancient finally face off! Can Godzilla destroy Cthulhu or is he totally outmatched?
Wiz: They’re anthropomorphic nightmares, one born from the horrors of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and the other a manifestation of its creator’s fear of an uncaring universe.
Boomstick: Godzilla, the King of the Monsters...
Wiz: And Cthulhu, the Great Old One.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Wiz: The year was 1954, less than a decade after Little Boy and Fatman had decimated Japan.
Boomstick: The nuclear age had begun.
Wiz: The United States tested their shiny new hydrogen bombs across the Pacific. However, one of them woke something up.
Boomstick: That "something" is Godzilla, the radioactive rampaging savior/destroyer of Japan.
Wiz: Mutated by nuclear energy, Godzilla stands over 108.204 meters tall and weighs 90,000 tons. He is an unstoppable force of nature.
Boomstick: Ever since his mutation, Godzilla has made Japan his own personal playground and has been destroying and saving it for over 60 years... until the next movie comes out.
Wiz: Thanks to his mutation, Godzilla gives off a deadly radiation that contaminates all sort of life around him, and can render an entire city block uninhabitable with his presence alone.
Boomstick: I wish I can give off a deadly radiation so that my neighbor's dog would stop shitting in my front lawn.
Wiz: He also loves to use brute force to take down anyone who is audacious enough to attack him - which, for some reason, happens to include a wide amount of monsters.
Boomstick: He usually just likes to use his teeth, claws, and tail to take 'em down. And for some unexplained reason, he somehow has knowledge in judo and boxing.
Wiz: But Godzilla primarily uses his signature Atomic Breath in combat. The Atomic Breath is a blue beam of pure radiation that can melt, burn and destroy practically anything.
Boomstick: Godzilla can also use his Atomic Breath to propel himself through the air. It is to be seen to be believed.
Godzilla uses his Atomic Breath to propel himself through the air while a subtitle that says "YES, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!" flashes on the screen.
Boomstick: And believe it or not, that's just the beginning of Godzilla's weird abilities. He can attract thunderbolts from the sky and use nature's power to enhance his own abilities... or turn into a giant living magnet. But nothing takes the cake like this. Just watch.
Godzilla is seen preforming his drop kick on Megalon.
Wiz: Speaking of which, Godzilla's tail can withstand his whole weight. And as a result of absorbing Rodan's soul... somehow... he gained a new ability dubbed the Hyper Spiral Ray.
Boomstick: The Hyper Spiral Ray is pretty much Godzilla's Atomic Breath combined with Rodan's Uranium Heat Beam. It is so deadly, it managed to destroy SpaceGodzilla, who survived and absorbed a fuckin' SUPERNOVA!
Wiz: But the Hyper Spiral Ray isn't the only variant of Godzilla's Atomic Breath. There's the Tri-Atomic Breath, which is exactly what it sounds like, the Hyper Atomic Breath, which is basically a much more powerful Atomic Breath, and the Final Beam, which is so powerful, it kills practically any Kaiju in one shot.
Boomstick: He can also emit atomic energy from his body for a short-range Nuclear Pulse.
Wiz: And if that wasn't bad enough, he can even absorb energy attacks and infuse them with his Atomic Breath.
Boomstick: He can also unleash concentrated fireballs that will explode on impact.
Wiz: But what makes Godzilla such a formidable foe is his regenerative healing factor. Godzilla's cell structure can regenerate from all manner of wounds in a matter of seconds.
Boomstick: Like the time he managed to regenerate from major injuries inflicted by Biollante's tendrils and Acid Sap within several seconds, including the hand, shoulder and upper body regions.
Wiz: Kumonga once managed to pierce Godzilla's left eye with its stinger, which contains paralyzing venom, yet within the span of a couple minutes, it was restored.
Boomstick: Godzilla once received two major cuts from the sharp scythes of Gigan, the first to the left shoulder and the second right on the top of his skull, and both wounds healed over in the span of seconds.
Wiz: And in one instance, he was once reduced to nothing but his heart.
Boomstick: Think that stopped him? Hell no! He soon regenerated, though it might of took decades.
Wiz: And despite his immense weight, Godzilla is more agile than you would assume. He actually has MFTL reflexes.
Boomstick: Don't believe us? Well, how about the time he shot down Gigan, who crossed a galaxy in moments.
Wiz: The nearest galaxy to us is 25,000 lightyears away, making Gigan hundreds of million of times, if not, even more, the speed of light. In order to cross 1 lightyear in an hour you need to be at least 8760 times the speed of light. To cross 25,000 lightyears in an hour you would need to be at least 219,000,000 times the speed of light and that's still an insane lowball for calculating Gigan's speed. Yet Godzilla can shoot down Gigan with no problem.
Boomstick: He can also dodge SpaceGodzilla's crystals, which shoot faster than SpaceGodzilla's own travel speed. And SpaceGodzilla traveled at MFTL speeds from outside of the Milky Way galaxy.
Wiz: Godzilla's strength is absurd. He has managed to lift a 200,000 ton Biollante out of the ground with ease, lift and throw a 100,000 ton Keizer Ghidorah, toss a 30,000 ton Kumonga over the horizon, and even match Thor in strength.
Boomstick: His durability is just insane. He can survive and escape man-made black holes, tank Kiryu's Absolute Zero Cannon, an explosion that yielded 112 megatons and an asteroid point blank range that caused the Permian extinction.
Wiz: Godzilla has lived in a volcano for half a decade, swam through magna in the earth's core and can regenerate a missing brain within seconds.
Boomstick: Speaking of which, Godzilla has two brains, which makes him more intelligent than you realize. And if he doesn't sound ridiculously overpowered enough, he has his own version of going Super Saiyan. By absorbing enough Super S energy, Godzilla can transform into the godly stature of Super Godzilla. In this form, his power level is over NINE-THOUSAAAAND!
Wiz: He also gains new abilities, such as the Energy Tail Attack, where he channels energy into his tail and launches it at the opponent. He can also cause the opponent to explode temporarily by ramming them with his shoulder.
Boomstick: He also has yet ANOTHER variant of the Atomic Breath, dubbed the Nova Breath. Super Godzilla also has a Super Punch move that could charge energy in his hand and charge at an opponent punching with the energy in his hand doing a lot of damage to the opponent.
Wiz: But his most devastating attack is the Navel Beam, which is... exactly what it sounds like. Much like the Hyper Spiral Ray and Final Beam, one blast of it guarantees him victory.
Boomstick: Good lord, nothing can stop this radioactive killing machine!
Wiz: Actually, a few things can. He has been killed in battle before, like the time Super MechaGodzilla destroyed his second brain. And much like a certain masked talkactive, fourth-wall breaking nigh-unkillable mercenary, his regeneration is also responsible for one of his greatest downfalls. You see, Godzilla will instantly be the loser if he gets reduced to his heart. Sure he could regenerate from it, but it might of took decades. Plus, the opponent isn't just gonna look at it like an idiot.
Boomstick: And although it was never exploited, Godzilla has weak spots under his armpits. Is he ticklish or something?
Wiz: And should the opponent target his gills, it will stun Godzilla's breathing. And while he has a load of victories under his non-existent belt, he has lost to other monsters such as Mothra.
Boomstick: That’s not embarrassing or anything.
Wiz: And despite being able to attract lightning bolts from the sky to enhance his abilities or become a giant living magnet, for some reason, he is vulnerable to strong surges of unnatural electricity.
Boomstick: Still, should you not agree that there's a good reason they call him the King of the Monsters, Godzilla will stomp on your city until you see things his way.
Wiz: Somewhere, in the Southwest Pacific Ocean, is the sunken city of R’lyeh. When the stars are right, it will rise from the sea, and its great and terrible master Cthulhu will rain madness upon the Earth with his awakening.
Boomstick: The Great Cthulhu may not be the most powerful entity in Lovecraft’s mythos, but he’s easily the most famous. Despite serving as little more than a High Priest for higher beings in the cosmic hierarchy, Cthulhu is still a force to be reckoned with in his own right, and compared to humanity effortlessly affects a godlike presence.
Wiz: Should Cthulhu escape the confines of R’leyh, he will send a psychic signal that will drown the world in a tsunami of mind-destroying insanity, and take over the Earth so he, his fellow Great Old Ones, and his Star Spawn may retake their position as the dominant lifeforms.
Boomstick: Cthulhu has immense strength and is capable of size shifting. He is also capable of flight. What, you though those wings were just for show?
Wiz: He also has a regenerative healing factor, which can repair entire limbs within seconds. He can even regenerate from being cleaved in half.
Boomstick: And while Cthulhu is out and about, his psychic attack drives people mad.
Wiz: Cthulhu is also supposed to be an immortal.
Boomstick: Wait a second, wasn't "The Great and Terrible Cthulhu" cleaved in half by a steamboat?
Wiz: Yes, but as I stated, Cthulhu has a healing factor. After all, "That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons, even death may die".
Boomstick: Another fatal flaw for this immense calamari from Hell is that he spends thousands of years snoring his octopus head off. (Snores)
Wiz: Still, Cthulhu just might be the most powerful monster in novel history.
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
DEATH BATTLE! Edit
The city of R'lyeh emerges from the ocean and Cthulhu ascends. Cthulhu's awakened state spells a psychic apocalypse across the planet, his very presence forcing all living things into a downward spiral of mass insanity. Cthulhu flies over the city. He then hears a roar behind. The monster turns around to see Godzilla. Godzilla roars as Cthulhu unfurls his wings.
Cthulhu flies toward Godzilla, but Godzilla retaliates with his Nuclear Pulse. Godzilla roars at Cthulhu before rushing at him. However, Cthulhu chokes Godzilla. But Godzilla fires a concentrated fireball at Cthulhu, resulting in an explosion. Godzilla fires more fireballs before charging his Atomic Breath and firing it at Cthulhu. He then decapitates Cthulhu with a swing of his tail. However, Cthulhu regenerates. Godzilla roars at Cthulhu before separating the upper half of Cthulhu's body from his lower half with his tail. However, Cthulhu regenerates and punches Godzilla, forcing him back. Godzilla moves back as he growls at Cthulhu. Cthulhu flies at Godzilla, but Godzilla turns around, making Cthulhu impale himself. Godzilla then unleashes his Nuclear Pulse, cleaving Cthulhu in half. Godzilla roars before stomping away. However, Cthulhu regenerates and grabs Godzilla's tail and carries him into the sky. Godzilla fires his Atomic Breath to no avail. Cthulhu enters space and throws Godzilla at the Moon before flying back to Earth to continue his rampage. However, Godzilla fires his Atomic Breath at the ground, propelling him back to Earth. He lands on the ground with a tremendous crash. Godzilla slowly gets up. Cthulhu flies at Godzilla and plants his fist into Godzilla's neck, forcing him back onto his back. Godzilla rolls onto his stomach and gets up. Cthulhu picks up a building and throws it at Godzilla, but Godzilla catches it and crushes it. Cthulhu flies at Godzilla, but Godzilla jumps up and lands on Cthulhu's head, destroying his entire skull in the process. However, Cthulhu regenerates. Godzilla fires three fireballs at Cthulhu before blowing off Cthulhu's right arm with his Atomic Breath. However, Cthulhu regenerates. Getting increasingly angry, Godzilla fires his Tri-Atomic Breath, severing Cthulhu's head and arm. He then backs away a bit before preforming his drop kick on Cthulhu. Godzilla backs away and then fires his Hyper Spiral Ray at Cthulhu until nothing is left. Godzilla then does his victory dance from Invasion of Astro-Monster.
Boomstick: We're havin' fried calamari tonight!
Wiz: While it may have seemed the two were on an even keel, the truth was… it wasn’t quite so close. Cthulhu’s presence may drive all living things to madness, but inciting Godzilla to insanity only entails giving a giant rampaging monster who has defeated countless entities for years that much more incentive to destroy his opponent.
Boomstick: Cthulhu may be immortal, but he was torn in half by a steamboat. Godzilla on the other hand takes asteroids to the face on a daily basis and looks none the prettier.
Wiz: Godzilla also has way better strength, being able to match Thor. And in spite of his immense weight, Godzilla has way better reflexes.
Boomstick: It doesn't help that Godzilla spends his afternoons wrestling other Kaiju while Cthulhu spends thousands of hundreds of years in isolation.
Wiz: Also, Godzilla's Atomic Breath is composed of pure nuclear radiation. The hottest artificial plasma ever created reached over a temperature of 5 trillion °C. From calculations, we estimated that Godzilla's Atomic Breath can reach a temperature over 7 million °C and yields a force of 34.42 kilotons of TNT equivalent. That's seven times hotter than the temperature of a nuclear explosion, which can exceed 1 million °C.
Boomstick: Since we have no clear definable measurements of the temperature the Atomic Breath's other variants reach, we can assume that they can reach much higher temperatures than 7 million °C and yield much more destructive power.
Wiz: Not to mention the fact that the Atomic Breath has clocked in at average speeds of Mach 1 and Mach 5, with a possible top speed of Mach 19.07, which rules out the possibility of Cthulhu dodging it.
Boomstick: Also, Godzilla not only bests Cthulhu in reflexes, but he also bests him in speed. Why? Well, as it turns out, Godzilla's walking speed is 338 km/h, his running speed is 676 km/h and his swimming speed is 100 knots/h, or 185 km/h.
Wiz: Finally, in the original short story, his regeneration process specifically described how the two halves joined to reform, thereby indicating Cthulhu’s immortality was simply an advanced healing factor with one severe limitation: What would happen if Cthulhu lost enough of himself that he couldn’t regenerate anymore?
Boomstick: What's with all the combatants' weaknesses ripping off Wolverine's? Anyway, Cthulhu can't sea anymore.
Wiz: The winner is Godzilla.
Advantages & Disadvantages Edit
+ Much stronger
+ Much more durable
+ Has much more experience
+ Atomic Breath FTW
+ Super form would be a huge trump card
+ Has already beaten Cthulhu on Deviantart
+ Has much better reflexes in spite of his weight
+ Cthulhu's psychic attack would just make Godzilla all the more homicidal and dangerous
+ Cthulhu's immortality is nothing more than an advanced healing factor
+ More intelligent
- Can't fly
- Has a slower healing factor
+ Can fly
+ Has a faster healing factor
- Much less durable
- Much weaker
- Has little combat experience
- Immortality is nothing more than an advanced healing factor
- Psychic attack would just make Godzilla all the more homicidal and dangerous
- Has worse reflexes
- Has already lost to Godzilla on Deviantart
- Wouldn't stand a chance against Godzilla's Atomic Breath
- Super form would a huge trump card for the already ridiculously overpowered Godzilla
- Not as smart
Next Time Edit
Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle!
A purple Alicorn pony faces off with a female humanoid tiger in a arena as the attendees cheer.
???: Come on, Twilight! Kick that tiger's butt!
???: You got this, Tigress!
The Alicorn gets for ready for combat as the tiger moves into a kung fu stance.