Sanic vs Sanesss

Jerebear1: Wow, we're doing this. We're really doing this.

Sanic Hegehog: yeeee!!!!! battle starring me!!!!!

Jerebear1: Yep, we're giving Sanic his own meme battle.

Sanic: oohh yay.

Jerebear1: There have been many memes who rip off our favorite characters. One very old example of this is Sanic Hegehog for Sonic the Hedgehog. Another very recent example of this is Sanesss te Skelootawn for Sans the Skeleton.

Sanic: yes there very dank.

Jerebear1: And today they'll be competing to see which one really is THE DANKEST MEME!!!!

Sanic: its time for a meme battle!!!!

Sanic

Jerebear1: Sanic was created in 2010 by Onyxheart, a Youtuber, who decided to pretend to be a 6 year old and draw a lame picture of Sonic.

Sanic: sanic is very fest and very dank and no-scopes scrubs all the time.

Jerebear1: Uh, yeah. Anyways, the picture became very popular and was quickly dubbed "Sanic Hegehog" or "Sanic The Hot Dog."

Sanic: sanic is also indestructible and immortal and cant be killed cause hes too dank.

Jerebear1: That's not actually true, but WE HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO THAT PART YET!!!

Sanic: sorry.

Jerebear1: Sanic became well-known as a parody of Sonic and spread all over the Internet, becoming one of the dankest memes we've ever had.

Sanic: sanic can go super-super-super-fest and go fester than the speed of light too.

Jerebear1: Sanic's speed is one of his many defining factors. At base form, Sanic can travel at a minimum of 12 times faster than the speed of light, though his true speed is said to be limitless. But Sanic has many other powers, too. He is far stronger and more durable than Sonic is, and Sonic can crash right into metal without becoming too injured! He is also an MLG expert who can use Doritos and Mountain Dew to heal himself and attack, as well as a noscoper's gun to no-scope scrubs at the speed of light!

Sanic: but when i collect the chaos doritos i turn to super sanic and become way fester and more durable.

Jerebear1: The Chaos Doritos are incredibly powerful forces of energy that Sanic can use to tap into the power known as Super Sanic. Super Sanic is near-completely invulnerable to most attacks and much faster as well as gaining the ability to fly.

Sanic: using the super doritos turns me to hyper sanic and i become even fester and stronger than ever before and become completely invulnerable.

Jerebear1: According to Sanic Wiki, base form Sanic is 12 times the speed of light, Super Sanic is 600 times the speed of light, and Hyper Sanic is...is...252000 TIMES THE SPEED OF LIGHT!!!!!

Sanic: yeh. im pretty fest.

Jerebear1: I kinda figured that out already.

Sanic: overall, i have incredible mlg powers and festness as well as strength as well as the ability to transform into many awesome forms.

Sanesss

Jerebear1: Now let's talk about SANESSS TE SKOOLOTAWN!!!!

Sanic: boo you stink!!!

Jerebear1: Sanesss is an obscure meme that came out in 2016. He's based on Sans the Skeleton from the hit indie game Undertale.

Sanic: i refuse to cover dis guy. he way less danker than me.

Jerebear1: Sanesss is basically a joke version of Sans created by Sr. Pelo. Basically, any time Sans appears in a joke video, Sanesss has a random chance of appearing as well.

Sanic: well he probably sucks really hard.

Jerebear1: Just like Sans is famous for giving people "Bad Times", Sanesss is famous for giving people "BAD TOMS" with his Bad Tom Blasters, which are basically Gaster Blasters with the face of Tom the Cat on them.

Sanic: wat bad toms?!! it makes no sense.

Jerebear1: Exactly. Sanesss is also famous for using earrape to distract and confuse people as well as giving out faks. He is incredibly fast and agile and can dodge almost any attack, just like Sans. However, Sanesss also has A LOT MORE HP than Sans.

Sanic: how much hp does sans have?!

Jerebear1: One HP.

Sanic: WAT. how much hp does sanesss have?!

Jerebear1: It's actually very hard to answer that question. You see, Sanesss's HP rapidly fluctuates based on how many Bad Toms the opponent has. If the opponent has no Bad Toms, Sanesss's HP is anywhere between 17890546 and 3698742691. And if the opponent has maximum Bad Toms, then Sanesss has Infinite HP and is unkillable.

Sanic: i wish i had infinite hp.

Jerebear1: Sanesss has many different powers that he can use besides his Bad Tom Blasters. He can also throw Boner Bones at the opponent. Once hit, they will get a boner and be stunned for a few seconds.

Sanic: good thing i don't have testicles.

Jerebear1: Sanesss is also equipped with the Boner Gun, which he can use to shoot Boner Bones at people at speeds so rapid that even Sans was unable to dodge a shot from it. And if Sanesss is desperate, he can use the ability "Boner Spam" to throw MILLIONS of Boner Bones at once at his opponent. However, Sanesss can only use this once.

Sanic: too many bones.

Jerebear1: Sanesss also has minor telepathy powers, is a master at teleportation, can stretch his arms out to punch opponents, and randomly (and rarely) summon AU Sanessses to fight for him.

Sanic: wat are au sanessses?!

Jerebear1: Versions of Sanesss from alternate universes. Underfell Sanesss is super-dark and edgy. Orror Sanesss is all glitchy and broken. Fresh Sanesss is totally hip and cool and can kill people with his hipness. And, Oltra Sanesss is summoned incredibly rarely and is basically unstoppable. He has Infinite HP, Infinite ATK, and Infinite Bad Toms. The only way to stop him is to use the Legendary Artifact from Undertale!

Sanic: oh. wow.

Jerebear1: However, Sanesss isn't EXACTLY the smartest guy around, and he is a very new and obscure meme, so he doesn't have much experience, especially against a meme veteran like Sanic. He also has very low Defense, so he can get one-shot by a powerful enough attack.

Sanic: overall sanesss is super stupid and dumb and weak and has basically no chance in this fight.

Meme Battle Begin!

In the Underpants Universe, Frosk is walking down the Jadgement Holl when suddenly...they run into a familiar face.

Sanesss: heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. you've been busy, huh?!! you already know me kiddo, it's me...

SANESSS!!!!!!!

(MOGOLOVONIO INTENSIFIES.)

SANESSS: YOU WANNA HAVE A BAD TOM!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Sanesss activates a Bad Tom Blaster, getting ready to show Frosk what a true Bad Tom really is, when suddenly...

A portal opens up, and Sanic Hegehog flies out of it!

Sanic: YAHHHH!!!!!

Sanic charges right at Sanesss, but the Skoolotawn just takes one step back and dodges the attack.

SANESSS: HEH, HEH, HEH, HEH, HEH.

Sanic, who has fallen and hit the ground, quickly picks himself up and glares at Sanesss.

Sanic: ive come here to fight you sanesss. you think your danker than me dont you?! well you're wrong!!!

Sanesss turns around and faces Sanic, then points his Bad Tom Blaster right at him.

SANESSS: YOU WANNA HAVE A BAD TOM!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Sanic: uh no scrub.

Sanesss glares at Sanic, and his right eye glows. Sanic knows he's in for a real fight this time.

Sanic vs SANESSS

Sanesss fires his Bad Tom Blaster at Sanic, but the hegehog dodges and tries to hit Sanesss with a Spin Dash attack. However, Sanesss blocks it with a Boner Bone.

SANESSS: BONER BONEEEE!!!!!

Sanic gets hit and loses health. He looks up and realizes he has an Undertale-style health bar.

Sanic: huh. neat.

But, while Sanic is distracted, Sanesss stretches his arm out and punches Sanic!

SANESSS: STRETCHY ARMS!!!!!!!!

Sanic falls over to the ground, but he gets up and runs toward Sanesss so fast the Skeletawn is unprepared, and gets hit.

SANESSS: AUUGHHHH!!!!!

Now, Saness is mad! He activates 5 different Bad Tom Blasters and prepares to BLAST SANIC!!!

SANESSS: BAD TOM BLASTERRRR!!!!!

The first one comes up right next to Sanic, then FIRES ITS LASER!!!! Sanic realizes itsa trap and dodges just in time. Another one fires from right behind him and Sanic again just narrowly avoids it. But then, two Tom Blasters appear nearby: One firing straight in front of him, and the other firing down above him. Sanic dodges them as well, but the last Tom Blaster, this time diagonal, interrupts his jump and BLASTS HIM.

Sanic: owwww!!!!!

Now Sanic has a Bad Tom.

Sanic charges Sanesss, but Sanesss continues to rapidly dodge all of the hegehog's attacks. Still, Sanic is catching up to him, and just when he's about to hit him, Sanesss's eye glows, and Sanic becomes trapped in a green aura: Sanesss's telepathy.

Sanic: whoa whoa whoa!

Sanesss hurls Sanic at the wall, then the floor, then the wall, over and over again until the telepathy aura wears off and Sanic crashes to the ground. But he gets up quickly, and gets out his noscopers' gun, shooting Sanesss.

Sanic: blam blam blamm!!!!!

Sanesss responds by pulling out his Boner Gun from his invisible pocket, and rapidly shoots Boner Bones at the hegehog. Sanic is unable to dodge them, and screams as he gets hit.

Sanic: yeeeee!!!!!!

SANESSS: HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH YOU'RE TOO SLOW!!!!

Sanic attacks Sanesss again in a rage, this time actually hitting him. Sanesss pulls out multiple Boner Bones and Bad Tom Blasters and hurls them all at Sanic. The hegehog avoids the bones, but the Bad Tom Blasters circle around and blast him. Sanic falls over, but gets up as Sanesss shoots more bones with his Boner Gun and dodges them. Meanwhile, Frosk is watching the whole scene in awe.

Sanesss throws his Boner Gun at Sanic, but the hegehog catches it and uses it to shoot multiple Boner Bones at Sanesss. SHOCKING! However, Sanesss uses his telepathy to fling the bones right back at Sanic. But, Sanic has a plan. He takes out his own noscopers' gun and rapidly fires at the bones, causing them to disintegrate from sheer dankness before they can hit him.

SANESSS: TIME FOR THE SUPER-BAD TOMMMMM!!!!!!!LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Sanesss pours a ton of energy all into one GIGANTIC Bad Tom Blaster and it right at Sanic. The hegehog dodges the attack, but the blast is so powerful it RIPS A HOLE THROUGH TIME AND SPACE!!!!! Everything shatters, and Sanic and Sanesss are sucked into the black vortex.

Suddenly, Sanesss transforms into Underfell Sanesss and confronts Sanic inside of the black vortex. The dead Sonic meme is SHOKED by the sudden transformation, but still aims his noscopers' gun right at Underfell Sanesss's red smile.

UNDERFELL SANESSS: YOU WANNA HAVE AN EDGY TOM!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

THE BATTLE BEGINS!!! Sanic rushes at Underfell Sanesss, only to have the Edgelaton dodge his attack and fire multiple Edge Bones at him. Sanic fires his noscopers' gun, hitting Sanesss, but also gets hit by the bones in the process. Sanesss leaps up from the ground and fires a gigantic Edgy Tom Blaster right at the hegehog. Sanic tries to block it by using a Spin-Dash at it, and the two colliding forces struggle for dominance until the laser explodes, knocking Sanic away. Underfell Sanesss leaps at Sanic, but the hegehog dodges and fires hundreds of bullets at once with his noscopers' gun. Not even Sanesss can avoid all of them, and he gets hit and falls to the ground.

Sanesss changes to Orrorr Sanesss and uses his new power of teleportation to warp behind Sanic, hitting him super-hard. Just as Sanic is about to land on the ground, Orrorr Sanesss activates his telepathy powers and bashes Sanic into the invisible floor multiple times over. Sanic then breaks out of the telepathy and rushes at the Gletchatawn, but Sanesss merely teleports again, leaving Sanic to ponder his existence.

Sanic: hello dankness my old friend...

Orrorr Saness reappears and fires a Glitch Tom at Sanic, but Sanic just barely dodges and Spin-Dashes Sanesss, hitting him right in the stomach: Then, just one moment later, Sanic hits him in the face, sending Orrorr Sanesss flying and changing him back to regular Sanesss. The Skoolotawn notices he's running low on health, and decides to end things here and now by using his ultimate attack: Bone Spam.

Thousands and thousands of Boner Bones shoot out of Sanesss's body aiming straight at Sanic. The hegehog tries to dodge, but there are 2bones4Sanic and he gets hit. Sanic feels the bones piercing through his skin and tries hard not to black out. He knows if he closes his eyes, then he'll lose the fight. On and on the bones continue to bash through Sanic's defenses until the bone barrage finally ends.

SANESSS: HEH HEH HEH HEH RAN OUT OF BONESSSSSUH!!!!!

When the bones clear away, Sanic is revealed, but he looks almost dead. Tons of bones have pierced through his dank hegehog fur into his skin, and his eyes have lost all their dankness and replaced it with darkness. Sanesss prepares to fire a giant Bad Tom Blaster to finish the hegehog off once and for all, when Sanic suddenly activates his last resort: The Chaos Doritos. Pulling the legendary Doritos out of his invisible pocket, Sanic absorbs them at the exact millisecond the blast hits him.

Sanesss's smile grows wider, thinking that the blast destroyed Sanic, but as the dust clears he hears something that SHOKS him.

Sanic: u familiar with flowey the flower right?

SANESSS: NUH...

Sanic: he was never nearly dank as me.

SANESSS: ITS IMPOSSIBUH...

As the dust slowly begins to finish clearing, a hegehog-like silhouette can be seen.

Sanic: now...prepare to meet ur doom...

SANESSS: OH GREAT SKOOLOTOWN GOD SAVE MEH PLS!!!!!!!

Finally, the dust all disappears, and the legendary Super Sanic is seen. The sound effect for Asriel Dreemur's transformation plays as the dramatic reveal ends.