Episode 6-Steven Universe vs Puella Magi Madoka Magica! Which woman with a spear and gem will reign supreme?
Wiz: When no man is capable of taking on monsters, these women with spears will do the job.
Boomstick: Like Pearl.
Wiz: And Kyoko Sakura.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and i'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a death battle.
Wiz: Over 6000 years ago, The alien species known as gems got into a war with each other regarding the fate of the Earth.
Boomstick: The kind and caring gem known as Rose Quartz led her rebellion, the Crystal Gems, Against the Homeworld gems, Who wanted to drain Earth of its resources to create more gems and horrifying gem fusions.
Wiz: It was a long war, and many gems were killed. But in the end, Rose and her army won and drove away the Homeworld gems.
Boomstick: Among Rose's army and one of her most loyal soldiers was Pearl, who stuck around with the Crystal Gems on Earth to fight off corrupted gems after the war.
Wiz: Rose however, later died giving birth to a kid named Steven Universe because-
Boomstick: Gem physiology sucks!
Wiz: Pretty much. Each gem can summon a weapon from their gemstone, with Pearl's weapon being a spear.
Boomstick: With this spear she can attack enemies with it up close, or launch the Fireball attack from the tip of it. This attack can shoot a small arrow-like shot or be charged up to unleash a devastating energy ball which can decimate an army of sentient watermelons.
Wiz: She is an expert in swordsmanship, and as such, can pull out a second one and fight with 2 spears if the situation calls for it.
Boomstick: That gemstone on her forehead can create holographic projections and Holo-Pearls, or clones of herself, which are formed from her and as such do not count as outside help. Their level can be set to change how effective they are at fighting but they're always experts in swordsmanship just like Pearl.
Wiz: Her body is a holographic projection from this gemstone, meaning any damage to it is superficial. Should it take too much damage, she can regenerate into her gemstone to heal it off. However, while in her gemstone, she is vulnerable for obvious reasons.
Boomstick: If her gem gets cracked, her body would start to "glitch out." And if it's destroyed then she's done for.
Wiz: She has amazing accomplishments, such as taking a beating from and outsmarting Sugilite, casually shattering a boulder with a kick, and creating a spaceship that could reach the nearest star system and back within 50 years out of complete junk. That would mean the ship would be able to move at 51,000 km/s, or 17% of the speed of light.
Boomstick: However, she suffers from low self-confidence and self-esteem.
Wiz: She admits she is very dependent on others to validate her, which loops into a strong inferiority complex. She needs everyone's constant approval to feel secure. Without anyone to tell her what to do or to depend on her, Pearl feels lost and without meaning or value.
Boomstick: But as a member of the Crystal Gems, she'll fight in the name of Rose Quartz, and everything that she believed in.
"Humans just live short, boring, insignificant lives, so they make up stories to feel like they're a part of something bigger. They want to blame all the world's problems on some single enemy they can fight, instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control."
Kyoko Sakura Edit
Wiz: Kyoko Sakura's family used to be poor as a result of no one listening to her father, a priest's, "radical" ideas on religion.
Boomstick: She actually wanted people to listen to dear old dad's ideas until daddy dearest found out that Kyoko was secretly a magical girl being trained by Mami Tomoe.
Wiz: Being convinced that she had become a witch and sold her soul to the devil, Her dad became an alcoholic who eventually snapped and killed his family + himself except for Kyoko. Using her powers and skills as a puella magi, she decided to fight witches and steal food. She lived her life as a drifter and didn't care about anyone else.
Boomstick: She did this using a magical, eight-foot long spear which can be extended to become up to fifty feet tall.
Wiz: And if it gets lost or destroyed, she can make a new one, because magic.
Boomstick: If the fight calls for it, she can pull out a gargantuan spear the size of a building. Despite it's size, she is crazy precise with the spear's movement. She also has some pretty fast reflexes to boot.
Wiz: The red gem on her chest is the soul gem. See, her body isn't really her, the soul gem is.
Boomstick: Meaning any damage to that hot bod of hers is also superficial and will be regenerated off.
Wiz: Her greatest power is to activate/turn into her witch form, Ophelia. In this form, all of her physical stats are boosted and a trippy labyrinth that is difficult to navigate is formed around her.
Boomstick: Ophelia can also summon familiars, or spiritual assistants of witches. Because these familiars run off of Ophelia's life energy and spirit, they are not outside help at all. These familiars also wield spears, and are similar to Kyoko in fighting style, but they're slightly weaker.
Wiz: She's killed countless witches, one-shotted Oktavia von Seckendorff, cut a witch the size of a large building in half with one slice, regenerated from being bisected in half, and even helped destroy a labyrinth the size of a city. No, it was not planet sized if you actually pay attention to it. It was just drawn like that.
Boomstick: However, her soul gem is relatively fragile and summoning the giant spear takes so much energy, that it might actually kill her if used. She's also abrasive and selfish but does have a soft side. Despite this, she's still one respectable badass.
"You know what the food chain is, right? I'm sure you learned about it in school. Witches prey on weak humans and we prey on the witches. That's how the world works, isn't it?"
Pearl is just outside of Steven's beach house, watching the sky on a clear day and taking in the air (Even though she doesn't need to breath) when Kyoko walks in just outside of her sight and believes Pearl to be a witch.
Kyoko: Hey, uhh, *crunch* witch.
Pearl turns to face Kyoko.
Kyoko: Yeah, you! I'm gonna kill you now.
Kyoko readies her spear.
Pearl pulls out a spear and readies herself as well.
Pearl runs at Kyoko and the two clash with their spears. Kyoko throws Pearl back a bit and slices her several times in a few seconds. The Puella Magi tries to stab the Crystal Gem but the strike is blocked by Pearl's spear. Pearl then kicks Kyoko in the hip and power thrusts her spear through her. Pearl then turns back and throws Kyoko (Still impaled on the spear) back a bit. Kyoko stands up and regenerates the damage (to Pearl's surprise) and then extends her spear and attacks the gem with it. Pearl attempts to block but the force of the impact snaps her spear in half and she gets thrown into the air and sliced repeatedly.
Just before she lands, Kyoko quickly runs up to Pearl and dropkicks her in the back, sending her into a rock formation. Pearl stands up with the assistance of her new summoned spear and lets lets out a small chuckle and fires several fireball attacks at Kyoko, who blocks them with her spear. However, once she stops blocking she notices Pearl right in front of her and is unexpectedly hit with a barrage of slashes. The magical girl manages to block some of the attacks but is then sliced in the cheek and barley manages to fend off the next few attacks before her spear is sliced in half and she gets hit with a strong kick and gets senat back a little.
Pearl clenches her fist. "I've got this one in the bag." while Kyoko starts panting and regenerating. She then summons a massive fifty-foot tall spear and holds it on top of her.
Pearl: Oh. my....
As Kyoko swings the spear down, Pearl summons a second spear and jumped up and clashed with Kyoko's spear. Kyoko eventually overpowers Pearl and brings the spear down on her, creating a massive crater upon impact with the ground. Within this crater was Pearl, her body appearing to be heavily bruised and damaged as an elctrical current runs through it. Despite this, Pearl stood up with the help of her spear.
Pearl: I...I fight in the name of Rose Quartz, and everything she believed in!
Kyoko: Heh, whatever.
Pearl dashed at the magical girl with might and stabbed her with the spear and then slashed at her several times. Kyoko regenerates.
Kyoko: *Panting* This isn't working....
Shortly afterwords, Kyoko turned black and transformed into the her witch form Ophelia, creating a labyrinth in the process. Ophelia then attacks Pearl but she jumps out of the way so she summons familiars to attack. In response, Pearl creates 2 holo-pearls to fight them off. While they're fighting, Pearl decides that enough is enough and summons a bunch of steam to surround the entire area, preventing Ophelia from seeing. Pearl then charges up a fireball in her spear and jumps on Ophelia, stabbing her spear into the soul gem and unleashing the charged up fireball while in the soul gem, causing an explosion that destroys both it and Ophelia and causes the labyrinth to dissapear.
Pearl walks to the beach house with a new story to tell Steven while Kyoko's soul flies into the sky.
Wiz: While they both had lots of experience fighting monsters, Pearl has been doing so for thousands of years, meaning she had more.
Boomstick: Pearl was stronger and faster too, as she comprises half of Opal's power (Who was considered to attack the gem warship after the light cannons failed) and is comparable to Garnet in speed.
Wiz: The Winner is Pearl.
Next time on DEATH BATTLE! Edit
Two legs, one human and one not, are seen walking onto the screen. They turn to each other and engage in combat stances.