Sanjay and Craig vs Clarence! Teams are good but some people have the weirdest teams.


Hyper Anon:Teams. The new way of fighting.

Doge:Also good for cheating at Death Battle! Some teams are just weird. Like Sanjay and Craig the kid with the talking snake!

Spongebob:And Team Clarence the 3 children.

Doge:They are Hyper Anon and Spongebob and I'm Doge.

Hyper Anon:And it's our job to analyze their weapons armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Sanjay and CraigEdit

Hyper Anon:Sanjay Patel was born to Vijay and Diane Patel.

Doge:But unfortunately Sanjay was a lonely 13 year old boy who had no friends. Hell I don't even know if he went to school since it never appeared in the show.

Spongebob:So Sanjay needed a pet to keep him company. 

Doge:Cus Lonley boys usually get pets.

Hyper Anon:So Sanjay went inside a petstore and found a snake named Craig Slithers. Craig could talk for some reason.

Doge:Then Sanjay became a furry even though Craig is a snake and made Craig his best friend/brother.

Spongebob:It turns out Craig wasn't the weirdest thing. Sanjay and Craig went on crazy adventures.

Doge:But the best part? They got to eat fast food like wings! The Sanjay and Craig version of Spongebob's Krabby Patties. 

Hyper Anon:They had to fight foes such as Noodman.

Doge:A cat person who is addicted to blueberries!

Spongebob:Eventually Sanjay and Craig made new friends such as Megan and Hector.

Doge:But unfortunately Sanjay had to sell Craig in order to hang out with Megan and Hector since he couldn't take care of him. That happens everytime!

Hyper Anon:Actually that never happened. Anyway Craig has all the abilities of a snake. For example constrictution. He can squeeze his opponents. His body is very flexible he can fit down Sanjay's throat.

Doge:I've seen enough Hentai to know where this is going

Spongebob:Craig can also climbs trees. His bite is also extremely sharp due to his fangs. He is also venomous.

Doge:Wait a second I'm gonna gather my knowledge from 4th grade before I skipped it. Constricting snakes aren't venomous. Venomous snakes don't constrict. Then what kind of snake is Craig?

Hyper Anon:We don't know. Anyway Craig can swallow things hole even bears. Craig seems to be immune to a lot of heat due to being cold blooded. He can survive a burning sidewalk and eat wings hot enough to burn someone's skull. Craig can also transform his head into multiple tools due to snakes changing their stances such as shovels,pickaxes,and vaccum cleaners.

Doge:But Craig's most unique ability is his hand. Yes we know what your thinking, Snakes don't have hands. But Craig uses his own tail or foot as a hand. It can wrap around whatever he wants. I don't think snakes can do that shit. Hell he could probably even use it as a foot dive.

Spongebob:Also Craig has a variety of different stances similar to different types of snakes.

Doge:And Sanjay can do?

Hyper Anon:Sanjay seems to lack abilities. But he has strategies. He can guide Craig.

Doge:Like a pokemon!

Spongebob:Sanjay has peak human strength able to climb mountains and Peak human durability able to survive attacks that kill humans. Craig is pretty powerfull on his own but with Sanjay they are a powerfull duo.

Doge:Hell they can even go DBZ and create a fusion. The only problem is Craig has to crawl in Sanjay's shirt and look at his nips. But Sanjay and Craig can use their fusions for multiple different forms. And a master of disquise. Still not as cool as a real snake hiding under leaves. 

Hyper Anon:Each of the forms have their own unique skills and are more skilled than base Sanjay and Craig.

Doge:But Sanjay and Craig aren't perfect. When seperated Craig wouldn't know what to do. Like a Pokemon!

Spongebob:Also Sanjay relies on Craig to be powerful. And Sanjay and Craig are arrogant and aren't that smart.

Doge:But for a teenager and his pet snake they make a good duo.

Team ClarenceEdit

Hyper Anon:Clarence Wendell's backstory was unknown but he used to be a boy.

Doge:But insted of some crazy shit happening Clarence moved, that shit is normal for kids,

Spongebob:However Clarence was born with a disorder that gave him adnormal behavior and wierd social problems.

Doge:Clarence was a bully?

Hyper Anon:No just couldn't make friends. Anyway Clarence moved to a new school. Where he invited all the classmates to his house.

Doge:But however no one came to avoid drugs and alchohol usage. 

Spongebob:When Clarence was getting ready for the party a hillbilly named Sumo came and asked Clarence to shave his head. 

Doge:And Clarence gave him an illegal haircut!

Hyper Anon:Then a kid named Jeff who appeared to have OCD came to. 

Doge:Damn Jeff could be Death the Kid's friend. Anyway the party seemed okay. But it obviously wouldn't stay normal because Clarence brought beas. 

Spongebob:After this Sumo and Jeff became Clarence's best friends. But not just normal friends.

Doge:A lot weird shit happened. Hell this is a realistic fiction TV show!

Hyper Anon:Clarence,Sumo,and Jeff went on numerous adventures. Now time to talk about their abilities. Clarence doesn't seem to have any actual abilties, but Clarence has shown to be a good leader.

Doge:He is basically the Deadpool of Clarence!

Deadpool:Did someone say Deadpool? Hey what's that a kid? Damn If anyone needs me I'll be sitting in the waiting room for my battle.

Spongebob:Like Deadpool, Clarence is unpredictable. He can think of numerous different strategies to get himself out of problems. 

Doge:Sumo is the brawler. Sumo is an expert on wrestling. Damn that made this Bio interesing.

Hyper Anon:Sumo is the strongest and knows multiple different fighting styles. He relies on his instincts and can catch  up to a road runner and survived a 20 foot drop.

Doge:Jeff is the brains of the team. He as a fricken nerd. He is good at math and calculating and shit. 

Spongebob:Jeff has strategized quite a few times.

Doge:Also Clarence and his friends could use anything as a weapon including a piece of foam!

Hyper Anon:Clarence and his friends have a lot weapons such as baseball bat,a sword made of plastic,a piece of foam,a shopping kart,and a firehose.

Doge:But their last resorts are a boat made of a mattress,sticks of TNT,and a chainsaw! 

Spongebob:But their true last resorts are a pinata filled with bees.


Hyper Anon:What?

Doge:I'm afraid of Bees!

Spongebob:Clarence has normal psychically, he can survive a fall from 10 feet. He can climb up multiple objects with ease and is sneaky in order to avoid getting in trouble. Also Jeff is kinda insane. His insane side makes him more vicous and angry. It even increased his psychically giving the ability to throw people,break glass,and kick Clarence down a 40 foot slide.

Doge:Not to mention his evil form an expert on wrestling. Team Clarence has pulled of amazing feats such as fighting aliens.

Spongebob:Those weren't aliens those where people and they didn't even fight them. Anyway Team Clarence isn't perfect, they are just kids and they always ending doing something wrong. Not to mention not having many psychical feats.

Doge:Still they are pretty powerfull for a bunch of kids.